Living to see its closing makes me feel that I have lived too long. I weep over things that are none of my business. But I care. What will become of the cemetery? What will happen to the greenhouse that Brother Chris built in memory of Brother Gene, who built the first greenhouse and saw to it that every visitor had a fresh rose in his or her room every day? Will the new owners value the mosaic of Our Lady that graces the lay people's entrance to the church? Is there a place where the fourteen men who are left could stay together in another community? Or does God call each of them to special work? Each of them is so gifted in so many ways. The younger ones may be called to places where their gifts will have wider exposure.
The natural beauty of the place enhanced by the work of the monks and the remarkable construction they accomplished in building that amazing monastery by themselves over a period of nearly twenty years is an admirable feat. I grieve over its closing as I have never grieved over any other loss: the deaths of my husband, my parents, friends, and loved ones.
Since I went to St. Michael's Indian Mission to help open a high school there as a twenty year old believing doctors' predictions that I had eighteen months to live and was disowned by my father for doing so, Blue Cloud has been my spiritual home. When Abbot Gilbert visited the mission and heard my story, he assured me, "Joanne, you will always have a home and family at Blue Cloud!" From that day on Blue Cloud, in my heart, became my home. It was where I went to pray before making major decisions in my life. It was where I went to make retreats and find respite in a busy life. It was a place where I always felt welcomed, was treated with brotherly respect, and always found wise counsel, good fun, friendship, and genuine warmth.
Only God can know the reason this is happening. Maybe we in America don't deserve a place like Blue Cloud. We're too imbued with materialism to follow a vocation that calls for so much dedication. Though I accept God's will, the ache in my heart is overwhelming, and my tears won't stop flowing.
My cherished moments there will live in my memory and in the plethora of pictures I've downloaded from every site on the subject I could find (besides the photographs I took there over the years. I will always cherish the one of my Irish Wolfhound, Molly, standing beside a field of grain, her coat blowing in the direction of the grain).. Father Stan's list of readings will keep me busy for many years. I wish I could be with the community for their farewell celebration on August 5, but there is no way financially that I could aford to get there from Tonga.
A great place to rent out or just go visit
So I will celebrate and grieve from the other side of the world and hope to find some record of that day on the internet.
Abbey Of The Hills is a US Church based in Marvin, South Dakota. Abbey Of The Hills is located at 46561 147th St, Marvin, SD 57251, USA.
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